Thursday Loves… the next 365 days

New Years eve and Birthday eve’s bring out this listy need in me. As either date approaches I start reflecting, pondering and generating endless lists. Things I’ve done, things I didn’t do, things I shouldn’t do and most importantly things I want to do. There’s always a list on the back burner for when there’s more time, things that seem silly, ludicrous or down right impossible. Things I may one day end up regretting I never tried.

Lots of thoughts have been running through my mind recently, the intense and crazy part of wedding season, for me, has definitely been conquered and I always find myself standing on the other side amazed that I got through it. But working at that intensity I find it hard when the work slows down, my mind always wants to know what’s next. I don’t have a problem with getting older but I do always have a nagging feeling that I don’t make the most of my time, that I waste time, that I’m not living life to it’s absolute fullest.

The final nudge for me was on Tuesday I had a call from a groom-to-be, looking for a photographer for today, two days notice to cover a wedding?! I told him I was unfortunately unavailable and tweeted about it – I think I was far more flustered about the short notice than the groom. A friend tweeted back that I should do it, ‘there’s nothing like a short notice ‘fast ball’ to get you focused.’ By then it was too late but it got me thinking, adding to the other thoughts churning around, that actually doing something without the planning, the getting to know the couple actually filled me with fear. There’s a complete lack of control and it’s completely outside my comfort zone… which leads me on to my 365 idea. The next 365 days I’m challenging myself to undertake Project Uncomfortable. Great name for  a project?! From now until my next birthday I plan to spend it camped completely outside my zone of comfort and just seeing what happens. This goes for work, life, personal projects and living in general. I practically have a file of thoughts and ideas that I’d love to do but I’m too scared to… from my ‘secret’ Bullring shoot idea to spending the day photographing the elderly couple that my parents have lived next door to for the last 35 years to just dropping everything getting on a plane and visiting my favourite gran. These are just some. There are far too many to mention now, but I’ll let you know how I get on…

So it begins.

Writing this and pressing ‘publish’ am I scared, uncomfortable? Hell yeah!